Dear Delois: This is a strange letter. I never planned to write to you after your death. But your leaving has left a painful hole in my life. I don't like the empty grieving feeling I have inside. I miss you. I miss it all-your voice, your presence, your laughter, your raising your eyebrows. You know what else I miss? You're dreaming out loud. I miss our dreams and the future we won't have here together. I feel cheated. This was not the time for you to die. Or it wasn't the time I thought you should. I sincerely thought ...
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Dear Delois: This is a strange letter. I never planned to write to you after your death. But your leaving has left a painful hole in my life. I don't like the empty grieving feeling I have inside. I miss you. I miss it all-your voice, your presence, your laughter, your raising your eyebrows. You know what else I miss? You're dreaming out loud. I miss our dreams and the future we won't have here together. I feel cheated. This was not the time for you to die. Or it wasn't the time I thought you should. I sincerely thought that I would go first, due the many operations and months of recuperation. Now I can't thank you for the 12 years of caregiving and your expressions of love penetrating through the grimace of pain I could see in your face. I hope one of your angel assistants will pass this note on to you with my thanks.I've wanted you to come to me, and I wish I could come to you. I don't like being alone. Oh, I know there are others around, but they aren't you!It's been months. I'm learning to rest in the hope that someday, some way, we will see each other again. I'm taking a big step now. I am taking baby steps to go on with my life. I feel strange saying this to you, but you went away, you were taken from me, but I have been holding on to you. Now I need to live life again. I have our history together, memories together, and a rich life because of you. Thank you. I'm letting you go, but I will never leave you. I will have to let you go many more times. I know that. I miss you. I love you. You are never forgotten. ---Alto
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