No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only ...
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No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me. There are moments, most unexpectedly, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don't really mind so much, not so very much, after all. Love is not the whole of a man's life. I was happy before I ever met H. I've plenty of what are called 'resources'. People get over these things. Come, I shan't do so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this voice but it seems for a little to be making out a good case. Then comes a sudden jab of red-hot memory and all this 'commonsense' vanishes like an ant in the mouth of a furnace.
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I scanned the book and gave it to a friend who had just lost her husband in a tragic accident. She said she liked C.S. Lewis, and found the book very helpful.
piafinn
May 27, 2008
Insightful
C.S. Lewis married late in life, to a divorcee named Joy, who had bone cancer. He wrote a book about their relationship in a book called, Surprised by Joy. After Joy died, he eventually wrote about his bereavement in this book; trying to understand grief itself, as well as his own. It was therapeutic for him to write it, and it is insightful to anyone who works around death and dying, as I do, or who is interested in palliative care. Lewis allows himself to be vulnerable. He is a vastly capable communicator and a genuine human being who has experienced intense sorrow.
ghmus7
Jan 2, 2008
Revealing, challenging and Comforting
As a late middle-aged man, C.S. Lewis was expected to be a life-long bachelor. However, he was 'Surprized by joy', when he met and married his beloved wife, Joy. The beautiful story of their union has been told in several books, and in the well-recieved film "Shadowlands". However, Joy was to die of cancer, and this unexpected tragedy was a severe trial for Lewis. It called his faith into question, and forced him to doubt the nature and existence of God, and the meaning of love and faith. This book was not intended to be a published work, but rather the diary of the inner struggles which he experienced during his grieving. It was originially published under a psuedenym, and later re-published under his own name. As such, is is not a theological treatise or a logically argued thesis, (as in some of Lewis' most famous works), but rather a portrait of a soul passing through suffering and revealing in a very honest manner his doubts and questionings. Lewis was a profound and brilliant man, but also possesed a great gift of the ability to communicate Truth to the average reader. This book is no exception, and it might be argued that it's informal nature adds to it's power. A great work.
SheilaMarie
Apr 3, 2007
Great C.S. Lewis book
This book is for anyone-C.S. Lewis is not your average 'christian' writer-he is an author-he writes in ways that illustrate not only what he was thinking and feeling but he makes you examine you own life through his writings. Please-take a couple hours and read this book-you will look at all the bad things in life differently and appreciate the good so much more!
