Bloodier than "Fried Green Tomatoes"! Funnier than "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"! Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer . . . Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a ...
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Bloodier than "Fried Green Tomatoes"! Funnier than "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"! Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer . . . Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley. But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the Diner, and more than willing to raise a little Hell on Earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the Diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig-latin. And maybe--just maybe--the End of the World, too. Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, "Gil's All Fright Diner" will tickle your funnybone--before ripping it out of its socket!
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Seller's Description:
Fine in Fine jacket. Book. Signed by Author(s) Signed To Patrick Signed by A Lee Martinez on pre-title page-has a werewolf doodle. First Edition, First Printing. With corresponding number line. Book is in Fine condition. Boards are clean, not bumped. Not remaindered. Dust Jacket is in Fine condition. Not chipped or crinkled. Not price clipped. Book is covered by Mylar Brodart. All-ways well boxed, All-ways fast service. Thanks.
It is the "Blazing Saddles" version of "The Omen."
Three nights ago I finished reading "Gil's All Fright Diner," which was written by A. Lee Martinez. It is his first book. It is about an atheist vampire and a do-gooder werewolf who stop at a diner in Texas to help the owner of the diner clear up a bad infestation of zombies. Along the way, the vampire helps an amorous ghost become free of her grave site, while Mistress Lilith, Jailbait Queen of Night ("Tammy" to her parents) sets out to unlock the gate that keeps The Old Gods (of Darkness, Hell, Eternal Tormet, etc.) locked into their sullen ethereal darkness.
Tammy.... Er, I'm sorry: I mean Mistress Lilith seeks to become the Goddess of Night and join with The Ancient Evil Ones once she frees them, and after humanity is swallowed up and gobbled down to Hell. It took me several pages of "This is just stupid" before I found the book worth reading. I enjoyed the Undead Cows (bovine zombies) that suddenly ceased craving grass and started craving human flesh. There are several amusing and well-written parts.
For example. There was a horrific night-time battle between shadowy ghouls and the werewolf, and in the end the werewolf managed to rip all the ghouls limb from limb, removing heads, rending organs (what few remain in ghouls), and turned the undead into hamburger. But that's not quite enough to kill the undead. The still-writhing pieces were hauled outside and put in a pile, where the morning sun's light would fall upon the pile and melt the ghoul pieces. Then, quoting from the book:
"As the first rays of dawn spread across the desert, the ghouls put an end to their ceaseless raspy chattering and fell silent. Legs flopped around in the air in a vain attempt to run for cover. Detached arms twisted to cover squinting yellow eyes. They squealed in the ghoulish tongue.
"'Bugger, I hate this.'
"'Well, no point in complaining,' another ghoul replied.
"'True, true,' a head agreed somewhere from the center of the pile.
"'Mooof glu tlak,' a jawless head seconded.
"'See you gents on The Other Side.'
"'Any plans?' the head atop the pile asked.
"'Oh, nothing much,' the buried ghoul replied. 'Just float around in the sullen ether. Wait to be called upon again. Review my performance this go-around.'
"'I thought you did a marvelous snarl.'
"The ghoul would have blushed had his dead flesh been able.
"'Perhaps, but I found your scampering quite sinister. And I wish I had your talent for hissing.'
"'You're too kind, but really, anybody can hiss. Now that bit of shrieking you did when the werewolf tore you apart, that was genius.'
"'Gluk fof wukal.'
"'You flatter me.'
"'I hear there's a cult in Paris with several openings. What say we float over there and give a look-see?'
"'I don't know about that. Can't say I particularly care for the French.'
"'Now, now, we fleshless ones can't afford to be choosy.'"
It was a fun book to read, though certainly very much on the silly side. It is the "Blazing Saddles" version of "The Omen."