We were in the bedroom together and she was very eager, with a readiness that completely contradicted her coolness toward me during the evening. There was nothing flattering about it. The alcohol had primed her, the music and dancing had quickened her. I was merely a convenience, a perfectly legal and available convenience. It was all very sudden and very meaningless. There were no words of love. Afterward I searched my heart and knew she had killed something. It took me a long time to realise it was my pride in my manhood.
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We were in the bedroom together and she was very eager, with a readiness that completely contradicted her coolness toward me during the evening. There was nothing flattering about it. The alcohol had primed her, the music and dancing had quickened her. I was merely a convenience, a perfectly legal and available convenience. It was all very sudden and very meaningless. There were no words of love. Afterward I searched my heart and knew she had killed something. It took me a long time to realise it was my pride in my manhood.
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