Mental Illness: A Thief into the Night
Ruth Beck once said, ââ?¬Å"Having a child is like having your heart walk around outside of your body.ââ?¬Â? Nothing could be truer. Every child is love personified, and with every birth comes hope for a tomorrow filled with possibilities. When these hopes are dashed, and the promise of a once-bright future shatters for your child, how would you cope?
Phone calls at night are rarely good. ââ?¬Å"The Tunnel: A Memoirââ?¬Â? by Tripp Friedler opens with one such phone call. Trippââ?¬â?¢s son, Henry, is in crisis. He confesses to looking down at the Mississippi River and contemplating taking his own life. This cataclysmic moment fills his parents with terror, and luckily, they are able to talk him into driving back home.
As the story unfolds, weâ��re introduced to the Friedler family: Tripp, Heidi, Patti, Henry, and his energy twin, Kate. We get to know what Henry was like as a young boy, his future filled with promise â�" we learn of his prowess at sports, his popularity with his peers, his relentless drive to win, and his sweet desire to please his parents. By all accounts, his childhood is idyllic and heâ��s the child every parent dreams of. Until, one day, he isnâ��t. Small for his age and kicked out of boarding school, Henry suffers the first in a long list of disappointments. His mood and attitude change seemingly overnight. His disease, though still largely hidden at this point, slowly manifests itself.
A poignant memoir chronicling Henryââ?¬â?¢s battle with psychosis and mental illness, ââ?¬Å"The Tunnelââ?¬Â? is Tripp Friedlerââ?¬â?¢s personal account of their familyââ?¬â?¢s desperate search for answers, treatments and help across the United States. As Henryââ?¬â?¢s war with bipolar disorder waxes and wanes, we realize just how insidious this disease is. Like riding a roller coaster without seeing the next twist or turn, the floor drops beneath their feet right when they least expect it, and theyââ?¬â?¢re caught unaware, desperately trying to regain their footing.
Trippââ?¬â?¢s straightforward writing style enables the weight of his emotions to remain front and center throughout the book. His steady storytelling reflects his despair and adds to our mounting sense of dread as ââ?¬Å"The Tunnelââ?¬Â? progresses, and Henryââ?¬â?¢s erratic behavior can no longer be denied.
With unflinching honesty, Tripp does not deny his flaws. With hindsight, he�s upfront about what he would have done differently. His openness in admitting the initial shame, denial, and emotional toll mental illness has taken on his family is admirable. To say they�re courageous goes without saying, yet it trivializes how they coped and surpassed this adversity as a family. Many would have succumbed to the pressures and fallen apart at the seams.
As Tripp comes to accept that Henry is suffering from an illness they can�t help him fight, we also confront the realities of our own parental limitations. When our children are young, we have all the answers. We�re all they need. This changes as they become adults, and we become bystanders in their lives. The law doesn�t recognize our role, seeing it as mere interference. Tripp�s powerlessness to help his son is gripping, gut-wrenching, and all too relatable. His realization of his secondary role shatters our own illusions that our children need us to fight their demons, and his frankness becomes the perfect complement to the rawness and honesty of his experience.
It�s heartbreaking to realize just how much the system fails in supporting people with mental illness. Tripp�s story is more than one family�s resilience and experience, it�s an urgent call to action toward something larger. For those who don�t have the resources of the Friedler family, the implications of cyclic injustice and systemic complexities are catastrophic. The urgent need for not just mental health care but also mental health education in scholastic, medical, and penal institutions is painfully apparent. As our awareness of mental health and its importance increases so, too, do our abilities to provide, navigate and seek support.
Candid and captivating, ââ?¬Å"The Tunnelââ?¬Â? by Tripp Friedler is eloquent and powerful in its portrayal of the impacts of love, perseverance, and family. Throughout Henryââ?¬â?¢s struggles, his parents and loved ones never lost faith in him and his ability to conquer his illness. Their love isnââ?¬â?¢t spoken, only shown. And such a story will never fail to move us.
Though Henryââ?¬â?¢s future remains unfulfilled, his spirit lives on. Through ââ?¬Å"The Tunnel,ââ?¬Â? Henryââ?¬â?¢s life will continue to touch and transfigure those who read about it. For this, and all those Iââ?¬â?¢ve mentioned above, this book is a must-read.
Trigger Warning:
This book is about mental illness and mental health conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, suicide, and psychosis. It contains details of personal experiences, symptoms, and treatment methods that some may find distressing or confronting. If you, or someone you know, are suffering from mental illness, you are not alone. Reach out to a trusted individual or mental health expert through:
â�" The Suicide and Crisis Hotline, text or call 988
â�" The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273- TALK (8255), or
ââ?¬" Text ââ?¬Å"HELLOââ?¬Â? to 74174.
You can also explore online resources through Mental Health America or the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).